“Love your Enemies”? Why? They’re Mean to Me!
There’s a reason Jesus said that, and I’m just now really beginning to fully appreciate it. The harder part for me is when Jesus says PRAY for those who persecute you. When hate and anger are so easy to feel and justify, why does Jesus tell us to do the opposite?
A month ago I wrote a relatively simple and short post, saying that I longed for the day when more pastors would acknowledge that there are hurting people, Christians, in their own congregation who are hurting and in pain because they are afraid to let people know they are transgender (whether it be pre or post transition.) I didn’t say they MUST agree with everything they “think” they know about people who are transgender. I didn’t say they MUST give them a big hug and immediately make them elders in the church. ALL I asked them to acknowledge is that yes, as Christians we can all do better in making other Christians feel loved and that certainly they should be safe to share their hurt and pain. That was it. Really.
I’m all ready to get really mad at other Christians for being total jerks and then God goes and tells me to PRAY for them.
I’m all ready to get really mad at other Christians for being total jerks and then God goes and tells me to PRAY for them.
Well, some pastors wasted no time letting me know what they thought. Almost to the one it started with the ASSUMPTION that being transgender was a sin, and many of them went straight to talk about homosexuality, sex and behavior.
This was the first time I directly addressed pastors all over the United States and well, I should have expected some less than “embracing” responses but I tried to word that post so carefully that it would be hard to completely disagree but I guess when you START with an assumption it’s easy to go wherever you want regardless of the validity of the original assumption.
I felt hurt. I was hurt. Comments like “The point is not letting them “stay the way they are,” but learning to love someone…”, “That is because you are embracing sin and not repenting of it. We are not to unite together in sin but turn to God and away from sin.” “Come ye out from among them and be ye separate…touch not the unclean thing and I will receive you.” “Whoever wrote this is a sinner in need of a Savior.” “They will not rest until everyone totally agrees with them. They’re coming for you and your church next. They already got your children and the government. Be ready.” “Please don’t expect the churches to accept your sin over God and his word.” “That’s like giving a drunk a drink. Teach Gods word! Love the sinner, hate the sin. Can’t condone they’re behavior.” (I didn’t correct his poor attempt at proper grammar.) “What a shame that any Christian would defend the continuation of sinful behavior.” “Church is about people coming together to help each other build up to the image of Christ. If you want to be left alone, then don’t go to church.”
I added the bold emphasis to that last comment because it, like the previous comments were written by PASTORS!
And I’ll admit it – those kind of missiles coming at me because of something I wrote, it got to me. I was feeling down. I knew they were wrong but I’m sure I’m not alone in thinking that pastors are folks who have earned a certain level of respect due to their time studying the Bible and (hopefully) their relationship with God.
Well guess what, many pastors have NO CLUE what to do with people who are transgender, much less Christians who claim to be transgender. They are so well versed and are so sure on what they think about homosexuality that (again – THANK YOU LGBT alliances) that they really haven’t given much thought to what it really is to be transgender (to them it’s just some weird sexual dysfunction) and so it becomes a matter of morality and sin.
So I was deeply hurt by the comments (maybe twenty) that were made by people that I’ve been taught to respect as a matter of their “station” and calling. Then I began to notice something.
Here I was with a handful of comments that yes, hurt me personally because I was the one they were responding to, and when I stepped away from being the Laurie that wrote the post to the Laurie who used to crunch and analyze numbers for a huge tech company – I saw that over two HUNDRED people had shared my post and over two THOUSAND people had actually gone to and read my post. TEN percent shared my post because they thought it was worth sharing to others. ONE percent thought it was worth calling me a sinner unless I changed (and I noted that one in particular seemed to have an attraction to gluttony along with his wife – but apparently THAT sin isn’t as bad as being transgender. I should send him a thank you note for teaching me that one sin is worse than another.)
All of that is a very long-winded introduction into what I hope and pray those of you who are Christians AND transgender reading this will take in – because it’s not easy. In fact it’s hard as I’m learning.
The part of scripture I’m referring to is Matthew chapter 5. It starts out with Jesus’ “sermon on the mount” and what we now call “The Beatitudes”. Then He talks about how important those who follow him are the “salt of the earth”, He talks about how He is the fulfillment of Old Testament law, and ultimately He says in verses 44-45 “But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, that you may be children of your Father in heaven...”
I’d like to say I HATE that verse in light of my last few weeks, but well, it’s an opportunity for me to grow.
That I was BORN transgender is not even a consideration to them who would argue against me, so therefore (to them) it MUST be a sin, a choice (if only they had a clue what we go through they would KNOW this isn’t something we choose.)
Their words did indeed hurt me. They cut me pretty deep. But I began to understand that it is THEY who don’t understand. They are not being driven by some divine inspiration and knowledge, they are being driven by their own ignorance.
They know NOTHING about what it might be like to be born transgender. They don’t know how long someone may have suffered. They can’t imagine that someone who claims to be a Christian can also be transgender.
And all of them (or at least a fair representation of them) responded to me.
And you know what God brought to my mind? Matthew 5:44-45. I hate it when He does that! I’m all ready to get really mad at other Christians for being total jerks and then God goes and tells me to PRAY for them. Really? PRAY???
Yes, and the bad news for you is that He has said the same thing to you (yeah – now you hate ME for passing on that message don’t you?)
This is not easy.
This is not something I want to dive into like going into a cool pool of water on a hot day.
This is TRUSTING that God is smarter than me (and wow if you think you are we need to get you back to the very basics) and doing what He instructs us to do will be GOOD for us.
So for me, in light of this last month, here’s what I’ve done….
I went through all the comments of my post by pastors who had a “different” opinion shall we say. I copied and pasted each name into a Word document and printed it out.
EVERY DAY this week I’m praying for each name – BY NAME of those who feel like maybe I need to be saved or to be “brought to the cross.” I think if they knew a Christian who was transgender was praying for them they would discount it as “wasted words” or the “words of a heathen.” That doesn’t matter because it’s the prayer of a follower of Christ for her fellow Christians.
I’m not praying that God will SMITE them down (an Old Testament term for putting a hurt on them.) I’m not even praying that He will suddenly change their mind about Christians who are transgender.
I’m praying that God, our Father in Heaven will BLESS their ministry. That He will bring others to Him through the efforts of those who would say I’m going to hell. I DO pray for the members of their congregations, that God will reveal to them IN SPITE of their leaders that it IS possible to be a Christian and transgender.
The people who said things that many in the transgender community would call hate (I call it ignorance because they just don’t understand) may never change their mind, but they sincerely love the Lord just as we do. When it comes to folks who are transgender, the “human” in them takes hold and they don’t allow the “Jesus” in them to get a word in. So don’t hate them. We don’t know how they were raised. We don’t know ANYTHING about them just as they don’t know anything about you.
So, I get it. It’s hard. BOY is it hard! Even today when I was re-reading some of those comments I could feel the snarkiness in me coming out wanting to judge them for their comments. That son of a bitch Satan would LOVE me to feel hate toward other Christians who think differently from me. And I have to FIGHT and REALIZE that it is that SOB that’s trying to get to me.
But you know what, I’m just doing the same thing when I read their comments that they did when they read my post.
Just LOVE your enemies and PRAY for those who persecute you.
IT. IS. HARD.
But it will help you grow. It will help you grow in grace for others and leave judgment to our Lord.
– Blessings!
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Hi, I am a born-again, on-fire Christian who loves the Lord but I feel that I am transgender. I am a pre-op trans-girl or simply a girl trapped in a man’s body. For years I struggled with this thing, especially having been raised in a conservative nondenominational church. I too have had the painful experiences your article speaks of. The Holy Spirit has helped me to love my enemies, including the Islamic terrorists who I used to hate with a passion. I had to develop that unconditional love in order to be used as an evangelist. Thank you for posting… Read more »
Beautiful! I am really proud of you and your graciousness toward those who hurt you. Remember what Christ said on the cross, “Father forgive them. They just don’t understand what they are doing”.
I am learning through the writings of wise people like Richard Rohr and others that God is very different to what I had been led to believe over most of my life. And that change in understanding of what Jesus is as part of the Trinity has changed my whole world view. My view of me and my view of you. Sure I still have a tendency to see those who still subscribe to traditional views as arsewipes, but then I realise that I don’t have to understand them but I do have to love them. So, I’ll do you… Read more »