You’re probably familiar with the acronym KISS, right? It stands for Keep It Simple Stupid! We LOVE it when things are simple. We HATE it when things complicate our lives. We like our relationships simple as well. Do you know anyone who says their relationship with someone is “complicated” and they say it with fondness and affection? Probably not. A relationship with a complicated person is one thing, a complicated relationship with someone can be entirely something else. And when it comes to acquaintances in our lives, we CERTAINLY don’t have much tolerance if they make the relationship complicated. Sometimes what they do may make it complicated. Other times who they ARE can make it complicated.
For many who are transgender it seems so simple – I’m transgender, why don’t you get me. And for many who are NOT transgender it seems so simple – you were born with boy parts, you’re a boy (or you were born with girl parts, you’re a girl.) If you’ve been following my writing for very long whether you’re transgender or not you hopefully have an inkling of how people NOT like you feel. People who are not transgender simply can’t grasp (dare I say fathom) the concept of being the gender opposite that of the body they’re born with. They are moms and they are dads. They grew up as girls and boys. Life just followed a natural progression and the beautiful cycle of life continues through their children. When I was born the doctor didn’t tell my parents “congratulations, it’s a boy….probably.” You take a look, mark the birth certificate and there you go – the rest of your life is mapped out for you from there.
When you’re transgender you figure it out pretty early. And as time goes by, whether anyone else knows or not it’s just a fact you learn to accept. There have been times I’ve had to be reminded that I’ve had 25 years since transitioning and having surgery, that I’ve had a whole lot longer to get used to it than others who are just finding out. In fact I was used to it the day I first transitioned, I haven’t needed time to “get used to it”. Most of the time I try to remember that for those who are not transgender this just does not compute. You can just see the gears turning inside someone’s head when they first learn of it, something like “what?”…”how?”….”why?”….and then usually back to “what”. But there have been times when for some reason my brain is thinking in the background “what’s the big deal?” That’s usually when things DON’T go so well.
So what are we to do as Christians? We show grace as the Father has shown it to us. Colossians 3:12 says “God has chosen you and made you his holy people. He loves you. So you should always clothe yourselves with mercy, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience.” Verse 13 starts with “Bear with each other”. THIS is what we as Christians are to do. You’re transgender and people around you don’t understand, BEAR with them with mercy, kindness and especially patience. It does NOT say to wait until THEY show kindness and patience with you. You’re not responsible for their actions before the Lord, you’re responsible for your own. And likewise if you’re not transgender, I hope you’ll find the mercy, kindness, gentleness and patience in order to BEAR with whomever you know who is transgender. And together as Christ’s brothers and sisters we can share our love for the Lord and maybe as time goes by help each other on our paths as we navigate this life God has so generously given us. LOVE will help us keep it simple.