I spent decades trying to deal with what I could only call a curse. How else do you describe being born with the body of one sex and have the internal identity (soul) of the other. Having lived it, I would call it a curse. Finally around 30 years old I realized I had to get it fixed or kill myself. And even after having surgery, I continued to think that my life was just more complicated that it needed to be having the history that I did. I didn’t know why God made me the way He did, but I KNEW that this WAS how He made. The reason? I always felt I would have to wait until I could ask him face-to-face in Heaven. Then about a year ago He gave me my reason, my purpose. I’m not alone. I’m not the only Christian who happens to be transgender that want nothing more than to love God, worship Him and serve Him. But in many churches it’s just not all that easy if you’re transgender.
And that’s when God gave me my purpose. My reason. My why. There are SO MANY Christians like myself who are transgender and hiding in the shadows. They love God, they love the Lord Jesus who saved them but they can’t tell others, perhaps even their own family or best friends that they are transgender, whether they haven’t transitioned yet or maybe they already have. It’s a scary things on both sides of transition. For me, telling friends who knew me only as male that I wanted to live as a woman was too much for many of them. Yet telling friends more recently that the woman they now know wasn’t born female and grew up a boy can be equally difficult for them to comprehend.
Here is what I DO know, if you’re a child of God, He LOVES you. You have a home with Him. God doesn’t judge you whether you’re transgender or not. Only people do that. They’ll figure it out one day, but in the meantime, you can help your Christian brothers and sisters who are transgender. Don’t let them give up on our Father because people can be jerks. “Father, forgive them for they know now what they do” has never been more appropriate. So don’t HATE. They don’t hate, they just don’t understand. It will come… in time. Maybe in our lifetime, maybe not. That’s up to God, not us.
If you’ve been hurt by a church in the past, don’t let that define your relationship with God in the future. I’ve been really hurt, to the point of massive depression. Don’t confuse a church, or even Christians with God and our Lord Jesus. I never doubted God but Christians, I doubted them a LOT, for a very long time. But I think that was to get to a particular place, that place being right now to give you this message.
God’s love is all around you waiting to be received and welcomed. If you’re a Christian and wishing you could have a church to call home, then now is the time to stop wishing (God is not a genie) and start praying. Don’t pray for a church that will celebrate you and welcome you BECAUSE you’re transgender, but because you’re a Christian. The rest we work out. YOU become a tool for the Lord to help teach other Christians that being transgender is not carrying a nuclear bomb for the church. For me, it’s one heart at a time, even at my own church. THIS is my ministry, THIS is my purpose, THIS is my why. It just might be yours as well. Pray about it. I was scared to death and crying when praying to the Lord about this when He gave me peace about my purpose. I pray you’ll find you’re peace and purpose in your journey, because I BELIEVE He didn’t create you just to ask why. Seek your why!
Being transgender is a GIFT from God to me. At first I thought it was a curse. And then I learned to live with it. But it’s my why, it’s my reason, it’s my purpose – to glorify Him and to reach out to others who are transgender seeking the Lord and to touch the lives of Christians to be open to their transgender brothers and sisters.
If you’re transgender but not a Christian, don’t let your perception of Christ’s Church keep you away from seeking the Lord. God is God, and God is good. There is much within His Church that needs to get away from tradition and back to what He did in fact communicate to us. It’s a journey you’ll never regret if you choose to pursue it, He loves you. God wants to have a relationship with you, He’s not just some tree you pray to or smoke you hope is hearing you. He created the worlds. He created Earth. He created YOU. He LOVES you, if you don’t know how to pray to God, start with “hi”, then just talk to Him. He doesn’t speak in “thee’s” and “thou’s”, He speaks the language you do – fluently. You talk, He listens. Give Him a chance. A chance to change your life and give you a reason, a purpose that you’ve always been wanting.