For those in the predominantly evangelical, conservative Christian area, being pro-life seems like the only respectful choice. The choice to preserve the life, at almost any cost the precious life of the child.

Sadly many of the same people consider being transgender a “choice”. They think I “chose” to transition, that I “chose” to have surgery. Well, to a degree that is correct, but what’s more important and the driving factor of those two decisions, is that I chose LIFE!

Sounds like the stuff movies are made of, and well, yes they’ve made movies out of this.

Because it deals with something that gets to the core of our identity as human beings, having our gender identity (what we know our gender to be) be in conflict with our physical bodies is something that can’t be explained in a way that “normal” folks can understand. I mean, if you’re NOT transgender, imagine waking up tomorrow morning as the same person you are today, BUT your body is now that of the other gender.

Suddenly, your body is male, or suddenly it’s female. Your brain, how you think, everything that makes you you is the same, but now rather that shaving your legs you need to shave your face. You go to pee in the bathroom standing up and realize that won’t work. And now, you have to go out into the world with either boobs or a penis and fit into the world as your body dictates, not as you mind and soul dictate.

Sounds like the stuff movies are made of, and well, yes they’ve made movies out of this. But unlike the movies it doesn’t suddenly happen overnight and it’s not a comedy, it’s something you’ve know about yourself for as long as you can remember, and it can be a horror movie.

Did I WANT to be transgender? No! I don’t think if honestly answered, a single person who is transgender would want to be this way. Who needs that complication in life? Just let me be born with a gender identity that matches my body out of the chute and I’ll make it work as best I can.

Did I WANT to be transgender? No!

But those of us who are transgender ARE born this way, something happens in the womb that affects how the brain develops as hormones are doing their thing and well, sometimes goes wrong.

Now, many in the church want to deny that it can happen. To say that you can be wired as one gender and have the body of the opposite gender for them is to say God has made a mistake, which I find such a simplistically childish response I’m not sure how to have a thoughtful conversation with them (so I wrote the book). To say (by extrapolation) that when we exit the womb, we are perfect, just as God designed in the garden of Eden is of course foolish, and when challenged a skeptic would accept that children are born with all kinds of physical and mental conditions, and wouldn’t blame God for making a mistake. Yet somehow, being born transgender can’t be included among the thousands of things that might not be quite perfect in a newborn. Granted, it’s not always obvious immediately, you can’t tell a newborn is deaf as an example, but it eventually becomes evident. As a personal example, I was born with a form of clinodactyly! Now before you freak out, that means my pinky toe on my right foot crosses over and overlaps on top of the toe next to it. OMG! God made a mistake!

Or did He?

OMG! God made a mistake!

There have been many who have tried to change the “mind” of the person who is transgender, but they’ve failed. There have been therapists, pastors, prayer circles, even places that specialize in “conversion therapy” (that were designed for homosexuals but might as well add transgender people because it’s the same, right?) Today there are a few people who transitioned to living as the opposite sex, even had surgery, and they transitioned back, giving God the credit. But when you look at their story, they weren’t born transgender, they suffered physical or emotional abuse that led them to think they were transgender, or to even change genders as an escape from their current life. And yes, I’m willing to give God credit for getting them back to who they really are—but they were never truly transgender, they weren’t born that way, not wired that way.

People who are born transgender suffer unimaginable torment day and night, especially when they are trying to make life work in the body and gender they appear as, when inside it’s like living a lie every second of your life.

Just this last week I’ve seen CHRISTIANS who are transgender write “My faith is suffering a bit as I grow tired of fending them [family and church] off.” “I honestly don’t know if I’m going to make it through tomorrow alive. Please… pray pray pray! I will need every last ounce of strength God can give me. Thank you all.” “Can’t sleep, have way too much on my mind” (and I know what those things are).

What brings people to this point in their life, are people who say things like this (and in this case, to me—but I have thicker skin, and I didn’t correct any grammar issues)… ““God does not make mistakes in creating us either male or female…whichever Gender that I was born into was through the Divine wisdom of Almighty God….to change that, would be trying to correct “God’s mistakes.”” “This is like saying you can still be a sinner and obtained eternal life.” “Blasphemy!” “All bunch of fools, it’s disgusting to the LORD.” “If God doesn’t make mistakes…then why change to be transgender….l love how God created. us…l don’t have to change my sex..because God doesn’t make mistakes!!!”. “God doesn’t make mistake, transgender is a sin against DIVINITY.” “Let’s not conceal what is not written in the Bible. God created male and female not otherwise. The devil is very manipulative when permitted to do so.”

And here’s my favorite, I’m going to give him his own paragraph: “If you are in Christ you are a new creation old things has passed away don’t became fool you can’t be in Christ if you are still in your old ways ….you Satan’s devices to fool every one homosexuality is not of God remembered Sodom and Gomorrah how God sent fire and brimstone because of homo and lesbianism know your Bible before you preach your dragging souls to hell…shame on you!!!!!”

But I chose life. I was ready to end it all…

But like I said, I have a thick skin (it was a little less thick when my book first came out). The last person’s comments actually tie into what so many of the others think, that being transgender is somehow related to homosexuality and sexual relations—when it has NOTHING to do with that. And from that diving board they go without any basis to being transgender is a sin (and if you really dig, you might find the Bible isn’t so clear about homosexuality either – but that’s not my area of expertise). It’s simply about knowing who you are, and how you need to relate to the world around you 24/7.

But it’s voices like those above all around you, from people you trust, know, love and respect that make you think when all else fails, ending your life is all that’s left, because surely you’re a failure before God and there’s no hope for a life that honors Him.

But I chose life. I was ready to end it all—I didn’t see a way out of my torment (just as today I see it and hear of it from so many other Christians who are transgender.)

I CHOSE LIFE! I loved God and knew He loved me. And that meant making the decision to life as the person I was inside, and TRUST the Lord to somehow make it work, whatever that looked like. When the decision was made, there was NO DOUBT! I felt God’s peace. I KNEW that this was how I was meant to live.

Was it easy? Heck no! But it was necessary if I was to live, and I chose life.

So before you throw scripture at someone who is transgender and struggling, before you tell them they just need more faith, before you tell them they haven’t prayed enough, before you tell them they need to repent, think about all the things that can and does happen to a child in the womb that you never would ask them to have more faith over or repent from—because if this transgender person is alive today, they’ve chosen to be so!

-Blessings

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