If our Lord knows the sparrows that fly and the number of hairs we each have on our heads, then he definitely cried today.

I can’t imagine anything harder for our Father to see, or any parent for that matter, than seeing one sibling being unthinkably cruel to another sibling. And that’s what happened today.

I listened on the phone today as a friend described to me in tears how she was told by the senior pastor of the church that if she returns, she will be escorted out by security. She has been banned, cancelled, by a church that claims to follow Christ.

Was she a child molester? Had she seduced one of the youths of the church to have sex? Had she stood up before the church membership and sworn allegiance to Satan?

After twenty-nine years of being a faithful member of her church (I’ll repeat, twenty-nine years, they KNEW her heart) she was told to leave and not come back, under the threat of physically being removed if she did return.

What did she do?

She decided to be her true self. After decades of pretending to be whom everyone expected her to be and living with the torment that most people cannot understand, she decided to live out the rest of her life and relate to the world as she has always known herself to be, as a woman.

Yes, she was born male and did her best to live a life that made sense to everyone around her, everyone but herself. Finally with grown children and the death of her wife (who never knew of this secret) she decided to transition and subsequently had surgery to put her external body more in line with her internal sense of self.

What is a Christian supposed to do when a church that professes to teach what Jesus taught turns its back on one of its own?

I’ve been a member of churches that didn’t really want me there, they just never came right out and said it. At first as long as I was just warming a chair it was fine, but as I got more involved, the resistance to my being there became more of a problem. In some ways, I can respect that at least my friend’s pastor (he recently replaced the previous pastor who retired) was honest enough to say the words and not drag it out over many months or years.

But THIS, THIS is why people who are transgender, whether they are Christian or not have issues with church, and for many that translates into having an issue with God. After all, if you as a church leader are the arbiter of what God says, and you say just being transgender is a sin (and therefore are condemning that person), many will take that to mean God condemns them (which is what the pastor is saying). Are you okay with that?

Well, if you are, you’re cruel, you have no empathy, you have no love and that Bible you claim to base your life on is nothing more than a weapon of destruction in the life of people you should be loving and teaching others to love. In other words, you’re a bigot.

Merriam-Webster defines a bigot as “a person who is obstinately or intolerantly devoted to his or her own opinions and prejudices”. My friend’s pastor is devoted to his opinion (that he claims to be God’s opinion) and not willing to listen (the obstinate part of the definition). How do I know, because my friend gave him a copy of my book months ago, and today when she asked him if he even read it, he said: “no, and I don’t intend to.” He didn’t care about the experience of another Christian who was also transgender, he didn’t want to hear anything that might make him so much as have second thoughts about his “belief” about people who are transgender.

But this story isn’t about my friend, it’s about you and your church leaders. Do you welcome people, particularly Christians who happen to be transgender to your church? And I don’t mean in an appeasing way that makes you feel good to say “see, we welcome those who are transgender” yet would deny them full participation in the life of the church, much less your own life. “You’re welcome here, just don’t let people know you’re transgender” because some people may not understand. Anyone who says that is saying THEY don’t understand and don’t want to. If a pastor fears that other people might not understand, it’s because he’s not willing to HELP them understand.

If your pastor is a coward, call him out on it!

What is a Christian supposed to do when a church that professes to teach what Jesus taught turns its back on one of its own? The pastor of my friend’s church pulled a verse out of the Bible to justify kicking this “sinner” out of the church, but who defines sin? In this case, it’s certainly not God, God has always looked at one’s heart and faith when it comes to redemption, clearly, this pastor (and MANY like him) just couldn’t look past the external (maybe re-reading 1 Samuel 16:7 would be a good thing to do).

Just because a person is transgender doesn’t mean they think 16-year-old boys should be allowed to change clothes in the girl’s locker room, nor give hormones to a 12-year-old simply because they asked for it. That is a fight going on in the secular world that has nothing to do with one’s relationship with the Lord.

What has your pastor said about it? Anything? Has he said you should embrace them just as any other brother and sister in Christ, or has he remained silent, hoping to not offend anyone, while the only other source of guidance they receive is from the news and social media?

These are lives we’re talking about!

These are lives we’re talking about, and churches are CRUSHING lives by calling the way they were created, a sin. Trying to live as others expected me to live drove me to want to kill myself. I didn’t need to be saved by Jesus, I already was, but knowing that I was different, and how people around me felt about such a thing seemed to leave only one way out, permanently. Thank the Lord He told me I was okay and that I shouldn’t listen to those voices around me, and it’s made me tougher to take the hits that churches have sent my way. Obviously, He wanted me around for a while longer, and here I am.

Have you asked YOUR pastor why he hasn’t talked about it? Is he afraid he’ll lose members (and tithes) if he speaks out on it? Whom has he talked to about it?  “Professionals” in the business (i.e. Christian psychologists who agree with him) or has he talked about what it is to be a Christian who is transgender with someone who is actually transgender? If you’re afraid to bring it up with the pastor, then at least one of you is part of the problem for sure. Meanwhile, people walk away from Jesus because they think Jesus has walked away from them.

If your pastor is a coward, call him out on it, speak up! His reputation and self-image aren’t nearly as important as the lives that are missing out on Christ because they can’t find a church that will welcome them FULLY just as they are, because they too are a child of the living God who loves the Lord probably more than you can understand. Please, give the Lord one less reason to cry, I BEG YOU.

-Blessings

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