We as just people are so quick to take for granted occasions that at some will never happen again, and we take for granted those once in a lifetime opportunities we have with family. A friend of mine recently posted a picture of her and her dad (visiting from halfway across the country for the holiday) just having a good time at an event and her comment was “Date with the BEST DADDY EVUH!” She and her dad were both just beaming, father and daughter together enjoying each others presence and the time they get to spend together – just the two of them.
My first reaction – tears. Tears because of the pity party I started because not only have I not even spoken to my father in close to 24 years, I don’t think I’ve ever referred to my dad as “daddy”, and I think there is a part of us who are transgender, especially those of us who are m-t-f (male-to-female for the non-transgender folks reading this) who understand what it means to be able to call our dad “daddy”, and know that that ship sailed a long, long time ago and to think we will get to do that now is just about dreaming if we’re going to be realistic.
So when I got over my little crying session of not being able to share Christmas with my family (you’d think I’d get over it after all these years but oddly enough – I haven’t, family is ALWAYS family) I sent a text to my friend. I started with I didn’t want her to feel sorry for me because that was true, this wasn’t about me. But I did want her to be able to appreciate the time, the moments she is able to spend with her father. Each moment that can never be replaced, and every moment apart never to be given a second chance.
BECAUSE she knows me and my “status” with my family, she can put into perspective her own relationship with her dad. She already knows just how blessed she is – but this presents an opportunity for you. Turn your isolation, your lack of a family this holiday season into an opportunity to help someone appreciate the blessing they have. We do take so much for granted, a message like this just might help them with their relationship with their own family. What do you get out of it – nothing, nothing but the chance to help someone get closer to their own family. That’s a RARE opportunity that few people get. You know it’s true – that’s it better to GIVE than RECEIVE. You can give to someone something they didn’t even know they had until they remember their friend – you, and that God has blessed them with a family that loves them and wants to spend time with them.
Is it hard to do? Yes. Will it make you cry? I did.
Turn your personal sadness into a blessing for others. This requires strength and even more, it BUILDS strength! This is about others, not you. At another time in my life I might be cursing reading a post like this – cursing AT the post. It does take a deep breath. It does take asking God to bless your family even though you haven’t seen them for years and may not EVER see them again. THIS. IS. HARD.
But if you can do it, you can be a part of God’s plan in blessing another family – what an awesome opportunity. I hope you’ll take it if presented to you. It really is better to GIVE than to RECEIVE.
Merry Christmas my friends!