Disappointing people is easy to do. In fact it’s so easy to do, you don’t have to do a thing. You don’t have to say a word. All you have to do is be your own loving self and people will turn on you in a heartbeat.

When you’re transgender, sometimes that’s all it takes to disappoint those around you. Perhaps you’ve kept it to yourself for a long time trying to be “normal”, perhaps you’ve transitioned already and new acquaintances eventually learn that you were known by another name (and another gender) in the past, and they find themselves disappointed in you for reasons they may not even be able to verbalize.

Maybe some and even most in your life will be fine. But there will be some for sure. They may be friends, they may be family and in particular they may be people from your very church. But there will be some who will be at the very least – disappointed. They may be disappointed because they think you’re mistaken, that your sick, that you’re deceived, that you’re defying God and turning to Satan. Whatever the reason, they usually make it known.

man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.

When that disappointment is expressed, particularly from Christians from all around you (including Church leaders) it may be easy to think that you’re disappointing God, that you’re making Him angry because you’re transgender. After all, with so many people saying so, it must be true – right? Well, no. MANY Christians in the early church believed Jesus was returning in their lifetime, and they weren’t right either. How deeply they believed it didn’t make it true.

Let me start with 1 Samuel 16:7 “But the Lord said to Samuel, “Do not look at his appearance or at the height of his stature, because I have rejected him. For the Lord sees not as man sees; for man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.”” [Amplified Bible]

When we interact with other people, we have our five senses to use – sight, touch, hearing, smell and taste. For normal day-to-day interaction it generally is distilled down to sight and hearing with most people and perhaps touch with a handshake or hug.

you need something like an x-ray machine in order to get a look and know what is REALLY inside

When you were a child, at Christmas did you ever pick up a wrapped present with your name on it under the Christmas tree and shake it trying to figure out what was inside? Even as a child you are using your senses to try to understand what the gift is inside. You are using your sight to evaluate it based on its size. When you pick it up and shake it you are using your senses of touch and hearing to get a better idea of its weight and its contents. All of that to give you a better idea of just what lies inside. You might be able to guess but most likely you really don’t fully know what is inside that nicely wrapped package.

To see inside that wrapped package without opening it, you need something like an x-ray machine in order to get a look and know what is REALLY inside.

Well guess what? God can do BETTER than an x-ray machine. He not only sees what’s inside you, He hears your thoughts, what you’re thinking, He KNOWS you! He KNOWS you hurt. He KNOWS that you didn’t choose to be transgender. He hears all the accusations thrown your way by people who think the Bible gave them permission to be cruel to you. He…Knows…You!

God knows your heart. He knows you love Him. He knows you’re torn because you’ve been told by people all around you that YOU are not fulfilling your part of God’s plan.

But the Lord looks at the heart! So He sees the REAL you. He KNOWS who you are and He isn’t looking at how you LOOK or how you present yourself. John 4:24 says God is spirit. When He looks at you, He’s looking at your spirit. Your soul may be more male than female or more female than male, and your body doesn’t match with that. God’s not concerned with your body – and He certainly isn’t wanting your female soul to be more male, or vice-versa. He wants your spirit, the spirit that you ARE to be in loving communion with Him.

Now let’s look at Romans 8:5 “For those who are according to the flesh and are controlled by its unholy desires set their minds on and pursue those things which gratify the flesh, but those who are according to the Spirit and are controlled by the desires of the Spirit set their minds on and seek those things which gratify the [Holy] Spirit.” [Amplified Bible]

being transgender you’re not controlled so much by your flesh as you’re being controlled by your spirit.

I’ve seen this verse used to ACCUSE Christians that are transgender that they are defying God, but there’s another way to look at it. If you’re transgender, we know it’s not a matter of the flesh but a matter of the spirit and soul. People who would accuse you of living “according to the flesh” think that it’s all about sex and about how you dress. That it’s all about the external, that it’s all about how you look. What they don’t understand is that it’s all about who you ARE. Contrary to how they think, being transgender you’re not controlled by your flesh but by your spirit and soul.

Being transgender, you KNOW who you are in your spirit and the conflict is with your flesh. And it is the world that WOULD have you live according to your flesh. Ironic isn’t it? That the very Church that preaches against living according to the flesh would want you to live according to yours? And of course though they may think it’s for your benefit, it’s really for theirs. They probably don’t want to be put into a position of having to love you (because that’s what Jesus told us to do) when they don’t like the fact you’re transgender and it makes them uncomfortable.

The world, EVERYBODY you know and love, and everyone you may run across only once in life can only see you from the outside mostly using their eyes and ears. They see you from that simple, rather two-dimensional human perspective.

So when a family member whom you deeply love, or a stranger on the subway or someone in your church has a problem with you, just remember that all they have to understand about WHO you are is what they may have seen, touched, heard, smelled or tasted (assuming a really good kiss was involved.)

But the Lord, God our Father, the Creator of the universe KNOWS who you really are beyond all human senses.

If your belief in God is based on people, then you’re going to be in trouble. If your faith in God is based on Him and His presence in your life, then you’re going to survive. It may not be easy, but your strength will be coming from a source the world cannot offer.

So you hang in there. You’ve got Christians who KNOW you’re okay, that you’re not disappointing God and are praying for you – and I’m one of them.

Blessings!

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