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God Cried Today

If our Lord knows the sparrows that fly and the number of hairs we each have on our heads, then he definitely cried today.

I can’t imagine anything harder for our Father to see, or any parent for that matter, than seeing one sibling being unthinkably cruel to another sibling. And that’s what happened today.

I listened on the phone today as a friend described to me in tears how she was told by the senior pastor of the church that if she returns, she will be escorted out by security. She has been banned, cancelled, by a church that claims to follow Christ.

Was she a child molester? Had she seduced one of the youths of the church to have sex? Had she stood up before the church membership and sworn allegiance to Satan?

After twenty-nine years of being a faithful member of her church (I’ll repeat, twenty-nine years, they KNEW her heart) she was told to leave and not come back, under the threat of physically being removed if she did return.

What did she do?

She decided to be her true self. After decades of pretending to be whom everyone expected her to be and living with the torment that most people cannot understand, she decided to live out the rest of her life and relate to the world as she has always known herself to be, as a woman.

Yes, she was born male and did her best to live a life that made sense to everyone around her, everyone but herself. Finally with grown children and the death of her wife (who never knew of this secret) she decided to transition and subsequently had surgery to put her external body more in line with her internal sense of self.

What is a Christian supposed to do when a church that professes to teach what Jesus taught turns its back on one of its own?

I’ve been a member of churches that didn’t really want me there, they just never came right out and said it. At first as long as I was just warming a chair it was fine, but as I got more involved, the resistance to my being there became more of a problem. In some ways, I can respect that at least my friend’s pastor (he recently replaced the previous pastor who retired) was honest enough to say the words and not drag it out over many months or years.

But THIS, THIS is why people who are transgender, whether they are Christian or not have issues with church, and for many that translates into having an issue with God. After all, if you as a church leader are the arbiter of what God says, and you say just being transgender is a sin (and therefore are condemning that person), many will take that to mean God condemns them (which is what the pastor is saying). Are you okay with that?

Well, if you are, you’re cruel, you have no empathy, you have no love and that Bible you claim to base your life on is nothing more than a weapon of destruction in the life of people you should be loving and teaching others to love. In other words, you’re a bigot.

Merriam-Webster defines a bigot as “a person who is obstinately or intolerantly devoted to his or her own opinions and prejudices”. My friend’s pastor is devoted to his opinion (that he claims to be God’s opinion) and not willing to listen (the obstinate part of the definition). How do I know, because my friend gave him a copy of my book months ago, and today when she asked him if he even read it, he said: “no, and I don’t intend to.” He didn’t care about the experience of another Christian who was also transgender, he didn’t want to hear anything that might make him so much as have second thoughts about his “belief” about people who are transgender.

But this story isn’t about my friend, it’s about you and your church leaders. Do you welcome people, particularly Christians who happen to be transgender to your church? And I don’t mean in an appeasing way that makes you feel good to say “see, we welcome those who are transgender” yet would deny them full participation in the life of the church, much less your own life. “You’re welcome here, just don’t let people know you’re transgender” because some people may not understand. Anyone who says that is saying THEY don’t understand and don’t want to. If a pastor fears that other people might not understand, it’s because he’s not willing to HELP them understand.

If your pastor is a coward, call him out on it!

What is a Christian supposed to do when a church that professes to teach what Jesus taught turns its back on one of its own? The pastor of my friend’s church pulled a verse out of the Bible to justify kicking this “sinner” out of the church, but who defines sin? In this case, it’s certainly not God, God has always looked at one’s heart and faith when it comes to redemption, clearly, this pastor (and MANY like him) just couldn’t look past the external (maybe re-reading 1 Samuel 16:7 would be a good thing to do).

Just because a person is transgender doesn’t mean they think 16-year-old boys should be allowed to change clothes in the girl’s locker room, nor give hormones to a 12-year-old simply because they asked for it. That is a fight going on in the secular world that has nothing to do with one’s relationship with the Lord.

What has your pastor said about it? Anything? Has he said you should embrace them just as any other brother and sister in Christ, or has he remained silent, hoping to not offend anyone, while the only other source of guidance they receive is from the news and social media?

These are lives we’re talking about!

These are lives we’re talking about, and churches are CRUSHING lives by calling the way they were created, a sin. Trying to live as others expected me to live drove me to want to kill myself. I didn’t need to be saved by Jesus, I already was, but knowing that I was different, and how people around me felt about such a thing seemed to leave only one way out, permanently. Thank the Lord He told me I was okay and that I shouldn’t listen to those voices around me, and it’s made me tougher to take the hits that churches have sent my way. Obviously, He wanted me around for a while longer, and here I am.

Have you asked YOUR pastor why he hasn’t talked about it? Is he afraid he’ll lose members (and tithes) if he speaks out on it? Whom has he talked to about it?  “Professionals” in the business (i.e. Christian psychologists who agree with him) or has he talked about what it is to be a Christian who is transgender with someone who is actually transgender? If you’re afraid to bring it up with the pastor, then at least one of you is part of the problem for sure. Meanwhile, people walk away from Jesus because they think Jesus has walked away from them.

If your pastor is a coward, call him out on it, speak up! His reputation and self-image aren’t nearly as important as the lives that are missing out on Christ because they can’t find a church that will welcome them FULLY just as they are, because they too are a child of the living God who loves the Lord probably more than you can understand. Please, give the Lord one less reason to cry, I BEG YOU.

-Blessings

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The “Welcoming” Church is Dangerous

Last Sunday a friend online posted that she was told a pastor in her town preached on “Sexuality and Gender”. And in it he said early on that “If you’re transgender, you’re welcome here.” Read more “The “Welcoming” Church is Dangerous” →

We Need a “Church of the Balls”

It’s Christmas time, and people if they don’t know the name, will certainly recognize the song “Carol of the Bells” when they hear it.

I was wondering if there was a “Church of the Bells”, and surprisingly only one church was predominant in Google, a Methodist Church toward upper New York state.

Read more “We Need a “Church of the Balls”” →

GRACE is a Two-Way Street

I saw the following post in one of the Christian LGBT Facebook groups I belong to…

A Christian girl just very kindly reminded me that “you can love someone without loving what they do”, and I feel the need to make it clear that if you view queerness as “what someone does” rather than “who they are”, then you my friend, are not the loving person you claim to be.

Others commented in agreement. But I was struck by how easy it is to be the very person they claim is NOT a loving person.

Read more “GRACE is a Two-Way Street” →

Morality Isn’t Always Engraved in Stone

This morning my pastor was giving his message and mentioned the word “morality” and “choosing right from wrong”, and I was suddenly inspired (I like to think by the Lord) to focus on that word and how we as Christians claim a “moral law” through the Bible, even when what was once considered moral by God’s people is now considered immoral (and vice versa). I’ll admit that I was so moved about the topic that I started thinking about what I would write and didn’t hear the rest of his message, and had to go back online to listen to the rest of it later. Read more “Morality Isn’t Always Engraved in Stone” →

A Tale of Two Churches

There are a couple of transgender women that I know who recently sat down with their respective pastors to let them know that they were transgender and would be transitioning. They each belonged to what would be described as “Spirit-filled” churches (though different denominations) and can be assumed to be generally conservative in their theology and look unfavorably toward those who are transgender.

But their two pastors had very different approaches in discussing it for the first time with their congregants.

One pastor and church are with the Assembly of God churches. At the time of the meeting, she had only been known as “he”, but had been a church member for a long time and was known and appreciated both by others in the church as well as the pastor. Having known as long as she could remember that she wasn’t wired as a boy, and following the unfortunate death of her spouse, she could no longer keep within what she has always known, that she was wired as a woman and needed to live as such.

I remember her posting in my Facebook group the day before her meeting with her pastor, asking for prayer, both for her and for her pastor. I gotta tell you I didn’t have a lot of hope that it would go well, and I even cautioned her not to get her hopes up.

she hasn’t been shunned by her community

When the next day came and went without an update, I sent her a message asking “how did your meeting with your pastor go?” I was thinking the silence was probably not a good sign. Much to my surprise, her pastor, having known her for quite a while (though as a man) seemed genuinely interested in what he was being told, how this wasn’t a spur of the moment decision but a lifetime of trying to be who everyone else expected her to be. Her pastor, not really knowing anyone who was transgender and not specifically researching it himself simply said that he knew her heart, wanted to learn more and would walk alongside her as she went through this. Though her life doesn’t parallel mine, she gave him a copy of my book to give him another perspective from a Christian who is transgender. He read and not only found it helpful, he asked that his entire staff read it (I was so happy for her and her pastor I sent them books for the whole staff so they wouldn’t have to pass one copy around). She continues to occasionally meet with him, and now goes to church dressed as her true self. The response from the congregation has mostly been warm and receptive. Some didn’t even recognize her until she explained that they knew her by another name. But she hasn’t been shunned by her community nor told that she needs to “change back”.

Then just a week ago in the same Facebook group, someone who was a member of a Foursquare Church (another conservative, spirit-filled church) posted “I met with the Pastors of my church yesterday to come out, and discuss my gender dysphoria. They were so cold and calculating that I will never step foot on that property again!” Now, she too had been going to her church for many years, and was considered a lay leader. They told her she was being tempted by Satan, that she was entering into sinful activity and found a couple of verses like Genesis 1:27 “male and female He created them” to throw at her. Note… I’ll gladly talk to ANYONE who thinks that verse is a verse that says being transgender is a sin—my contact information is on this site.

When she told them that she would take a hiatus from church so as not to make things uncomfortable for her wife and daughter, they apparently were visibly relieved, as if “thank God we won’t have to deal with this”. Better to see a theological “problem” leave your church rather than have to face it. She visited a different church last Sunday, as her true self, felt FULLY welcomed and is planning on visiting again.

But for some that’s not good enough, I can’t be transgender

The Christian Church today, especially in America is highly concerned with the do’s and don’ts, there is the ONE do, and that’s acknowledge Christ’s sacrifice as atonement for your sinful nature, and then there’s a LONG list of DON’Ts. When I grew up it was Christians don’t swear, don’t drink and don’t smoke.

Today’s church is VERY concerned is seems more with the don’ts rather than the do.

I am a conservative, evangelical Christian saved by the blood of Christ that He shed on the cross as a sacrifice for us all, and He rose again in conquering death that had no hold on Him, that we too who believe and accept His give of salvation will live forever with Him in Heaven.

But for some that’s not good enough, I can’t be transgender—because if I am I apparently am living some kind of sinful life and am bound for Hell and whatever else I believe in faith doesn’t matter.

I’m not some kind of unicorn, that ““well, Laurie we know you and you’re “different” than the others””.

I have a group of 800 people who are transgender and profess Christ as their savior, yet for many of them it’s the only place where they have a sense of community with other Christians, because despite having many churches near them, they can’t find ONE that will welcome them, solely because they are transgender.

My question for you is: Do you go to a church or a country club?

I’m sure “everyone is welcome” at your church, but is there a place for them to fit in? Is there a place for them to find community? Or do they have conform to “the way we’ve always done it” and not be “too different”. Because if that’s the case you’re not being much like Jesus, who hung out with all kinds of folks that no one wanted to. Jesus walked straight through Samaria which most Jews in that day would have avoided, and in doing so encounter a woman and shocker her by speaking to her. By the end of their brief conversation, she realized that she was speaking to the Messiah she knew was coming one day. Even Jesus’ own disciples were surprised He was speaking to a Samaritan woman. Following Christ isn’t supposed to be COMFORTABLE.

And right there you have the image of much of today’s Church. Disciples of Jesus, both pastors and lay people who would ask “why are you even speaking with her?”

Oh, it’s because of one of the “don’ts” you say. Well you may not like the fact that some people are transgender, feel blessed that you don’t have that particular problem your self or in your family. Heck, I see some Christians smoke and I’m momentarily bothered by it, not the smoke (though I am allergic) but the part ingrained in me that says “you can’t be a Christian and smoke” raises up like a reflex before Jesus has a chance to remind me that they are one of His as well. I have the same problem with language when I hear Christians I love and respect use language that I’d be embarrassed and/or ashamed to use—but then I’m reminded (and know) that they too love Christ and serve Him better than I do in so many ways.

Jesus didn’t talk much about the don’ts, mostly He talked about the DO’S.

You don’t need to tolerate Christians who are transgender, you need to fully welcome with arms wide open Christians who are transgender. They are just like you, except they are transgender. They didn’t choose it, they hate that they are transgender (trust me, no one who is truly transgender is happy about it, but it is what it is). We who are transgender are trying to get through life as best as possible, just as you are. What YOU think is best for us is probably wrong, just as if I observed your life I’d probably have recommendations on how you could do life better, but I’d be wrong.

If you have issues with people who are transgender, TALK to a person who is transgender. Don’t run first to your pastor or therapist or friend, none of whom have any direct knowledge of someone who is a Christian, a follower of Christ and transgender.

I have friends, good friends who I think have a theological issue with me being transgender, but we’re friends so we go with that and they NEVER ask me about it, how I reconcile what they see as going against scripture.

If you have a friend who is transgender, talk to them. It IS possible to be transgender and love Jesus at the same time.

How does your church treat people who are transgender? Is the welcome mat open only to become a trap door if they don’t repent and “change back”? Have you DARED to ask your pastor about it? What he would do with a church member who came out as transgender?

Jesus didn’t talk much about the don’ts, mostly He talked about the DO’S. And that included the do’s that might be uncomfortable at first, but that’s how we become more like Jesus to others.

-Blessings

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What Must I NOT do to be Saved?

I grew up in church, through college at a large Baptist church in California. As an adult a little Foursquare, then Vineyard but mostly non-denominational. One consistent theme across them was that being a Christian wasn’t about “don’t do this” and “don’t do that”. Israel in the Old Testament was under The Law as God was bringing His people into focus as a nation. Most importantly The Law was given to show that no one could live to God’s standard.

It was Jesus, who lived a sinless life and who in His death and resurrection paid the price for all of our sin, He was the fulfillment of The Law for us to the Father.

Growing up I remember hearing time and time again about how Christianity is different than other religions, because other religions were about man’s attempt to reach up to God (through good behavior and good works), and Christianity is about God reaching down to man through Jesus.

If you’re a Christian you’re probably shaking your head yes about now saying “you go girl, preach it!”

After all, it’s spelled out pretty simply for us in the scriptures…

Christianity is about God reaching down to man through Jesus

In Luke 23:32-43 when Jesus was hanging on the cross beside two thieves, while one of them hurled insults at Jesus, the other turned to Jesus and said “remember me when you come into your kingdom.” And Jesus said “today you will be with me in paradise.” Boom! Just like that. No special prayer, no checklist of things to do, just the faith that Jesus was who He said He was.

In Acts 31 Paul is in jail with Silas, and while praying and singing suddenly there was an earthquake and the chains fell off all the prisoners and the prison doors opened. The jailer was ready to kill himself fearing everyone had escaped under his watch. Paul shouted for him to stop, as all the prisoners were still there. Knowing why Paul was in jail, he fell before Paul and asked him “what must I do to be saved?” Paul’s response was “Believe in the Lord Jesus, and you will be saved”. Again, he didn’t say do this and do that, simply believe in Christ’s salvation.

Romans 10:12-13 says For there is no difference between Jew and Gentile—the same Lord is Lord of all and richly blesses all who call on him, for, “Everyone who calls on the name of the Lord will be saved.”

And then we humans have to go and complicate it—again.

Rather than using scripture to realize what is wrong in our lives, we use it to expose what is wrong in OTHERS’ lives

God gave the Jews The Law to teach them, but he gave us Christ to free us from The Law, and maybe because we feel a little guilty with all that freedom, we start setting up our own laws to follow “just to be sure” that we’re making God happy. I’m not sure the reason, but I remember growing up that I was sure if you smoked or consumed alcohol you weren’t a Christian (I didn’t think to look it up in my Bible back then). I remember as a kid my pastor in church saying that the wine they drank in Christ’s day wasn’t as strong as the wine made today, and that was why they drank it then but we shouldn’t today.

I’m not saying we just take the few verses I mentioned above and ignore everything else that we have today as scripture. 2 Timothy 3:16 says “All Scripture is inspired by God and is useful to teach us what is true and to make us realize what is wrong in our lives. It corrects us when we are wrong and teaches us to do what is right.” [NLT]  And that’s true, it helps us to live better lives. We learn to live more like Jesus, to love like Him, have compassion like Him.

And THIS is where we go off course.

Rather than using scripture to realize what is wrong in our lives, we use it to expose what is wrong in OTHERS’ lives. We use it to judge others, even condemn others to the point we tell them they need Jesus, even though they already HAVE Jesus in their life. Grace is reserved only for the “minor” failings in our own lives, not the major “sins” in the lives of others. We find a way to insert the word “but”.

It can be such an awful word. “We love you, but…” “We think you’re an amazing person, but…” “We know you love Jesus, but…” “We would love to have you in our church, but…” I can’t tell how many times people who are transgender hear these hurtful words from Christians.

I could now write another 4,000 words on why judging someone who is transgender to be “in sin” and needing to repent in order to be saved or even part of a church is such a stretch Biblically that Jesus himself would look at you and say “you’re not serious, right?” However (my attempt to avoid using the word “but”), I’ve written so much about that already I’ll just reference a couple of my past articles here for easy reference…

It’s Not About Sex – It’s About Integrity

We Can Do Better Church!

Absolute Truth

You’re Not Gonna Like “Therefore”

As Christians, we ALL have to work harder on finding more of the faults within us and less of the faults within others. God will use His Word to teach US (i.e. individually) what is right for us and what is wrong for us. Being transgender isn’t a sin, but if you think you are required to tell someone that it is, may I suggest you work first on that log in your eye? Matthew 7:3-5

-Blessings

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Are We God’s Children, Or His Puppets?

Most Christians have heard the verse from Psalm 139 that says “You knitted me together in the womb”. Some Christians believe that to be literal, in that God actually, specifically and intentionally created your unique body and everything about you exactly as you are.

It’s a nice thought—that God took the time out of His busy day every day, every second for nine months to make sure you met your individual and perfect specifications when you left the womb. Read more “Are We God’s Children, Or His Puppets?” →

What? Boys in Girl’s Sports?

Go ahead, call me transphobic. But wait. How could I be, being transgender, having transitioned and then having surgery, how could I possibly be transphobic? Well, I’m not. But anyone who isn’t transgender who writes what I’m about to write would be called that, because the reason doesn’t matter, if you disagree in any way, about anything having to do with someone who is transgender, that automatically makes you transphobic and a hater in the cancel culture we currently live in. Read more “What? Boys in Girl’s Sports?” →

The Sin of Not Being Like You

Wouldn’t the world be such a better place if everyone were like you? I mean, if you think secular movies are bad for our culture, is it a sin if Christians go see them? And secular music. Music that doesn’t point to the Lord. Is it a sin if Christians listen to it? What about dancing? Many Christians think dancing is a sin, maybe you’re one of them. So you would condemn Christians who go to a nightclub and dance? If dancing is sinful, is it a sin to go watch a ballet? I mean, you’re not actually the one doing the dancing are you? Read more “The Sin of Not Being Like You” →