For All
A week ago I posted an open letter to the pastors of my church on Facebook, why it was important to make room there for those who are LGBT and as a result of their silence, why I decided to leave. In the days that followed there were some comments and emails and I’d like to follow up with a couple of things: 1) God is faithful and 2) fear doesn’t equal hate. Read more “Hate, Sorrow, Love and Joy”
For All
This post started with me writing about how disappointed I was in my fellow Americans. How so many have succumbed to the fear of a virus that is not Ebola (with a 90% fatality rate), hemorrhagic fever (24-88% fatality rate) or even MERS (Middle East respiratory syndrome at 41%). Our country saw Ebola on our own shore in 2014 and as deadly as it is we didn’t all suddenly duck and cover. 100,000 people died of MERS in the U.S. and million worldwide in 1969 and we still held Woodstock! Read more “It’s Worse Than Coronavirus”
For All
I was on the phone briefly with a client of mine today. I just finished setting up a laptop for her and was double checking her address in Houston before shipping it off. She lives in a nice retirement community but is pretty much restricted to her apartment with no visitors right now with the Coronavirus threat still a part of our lives. Before hanging up I told her “I’m looking forward to seeing you when you make parole” since I can’t personally deliver the computer to her these days. We had a good laugh and said goodbye.
I was then reminded of an email I received earlier in the day from someone who read my book. She said that her faith is being shaken right now. I wondered what happened that she’s now struggling in her relationship with God. Was is because of the Coronavirus? No. Had she lost her job and was bordering on homelessness? No. Did a family member needless die in an accident with a drunk driver? No.
What has shaken her faith, what led her to contact me, was her church.
Let that sink in for a moment. Someone who loves Jesus is struggling in her faith, because of her church!
Christians who are transgender are so often treated as “less-than”, “not-the-same”
I don’t know how long she has attended this church, only that she loves the teaching and the people there. But, and it’s a big but, they won’t allow her to serve. She has a heart to help serve the youth at her church, but she’s not allowed to. Why? Because she’s transgender.
Christians who are transgender are so often treated as “less-than”, “not-the-same”, “different than the rest of us”, an “almost the right kind of” Christians.
100 years ago if you were black you had to go to your own church with your “own people” (because it was okay for them to be “less-than”). Today thankfully only a very small handful of churches would refuse a black person belonging to their church.
Likewise 100 years ago most churches wouldn’t allow a woman to preach or be a pastor. I think we’ve actually made more progress with the black community than with women when it comes to this. The largest protestant denomination in the United States refuses to allow women to be pastors in their churches. If you’re a black man, you can be a pastor there, but breasts will disqualify you because “the Bible says so” (well, perhaps not in those words).
If you’re transgender, you may feel like you’re in some kind of jail at your church. Maybe you go to a church that doesn’t know you’re transgender, whether you’ve transitioned or not. You’re totally welcomed and accepted FULLY into their community now, but fear if you let them know you’re transgender, you’ll be ostracized or maybe simply told to leave (based on what you’ve heard from the pulpit).
Are you willing to let Satan fill the silence you won’t?
Or maybe they know (or at least those who NEED to know know) that you’re transgender. And you’re “welcome” to worship with them. Maybe you’re even allowed to serve either in an area where you have considerable expertise or in an area when they have a need. BUT, you still need to be careful because the church hasn’t openly said that if you’re transgender, you’re just as welcome as anyone else, and can serve in any capacity as anyone else might. Telling people you don’t know that you’re transgender might be like setting off a hand grenade in the middle of a church service, but you don’t know for sure.
Either way, you find yourself in a type of ecclesiastical jail. The limits that you can express yourself, go into other areas is defined by your jailer, in this case, your church.
Granted, some jails may be more like the low-security prisons some white-collar criminals go to that are more country club than prison (aka “club fed”). As long as you don’t rock the boat, the skies are blue and you’re welcome to breath the fresh air and look at the snow-capped mountains from within the gates of the prison.
But make no mistake, they are still a prison and God is not the warden, but people who think they have a book that gives them the right to treat you like a “less-than” person.
When Jesus said He came to give us life, and more abundantly in John 10:10, He didn’t mean “kind of” “sort of”. More or less. He said MORE abundantly! Yet some Christians think taking away the MORE ABUNDANTLY is their job when it comes to Christians who are transgender.
I think what’s worse are people who know they don’t have the right, but do it anyway for fear of friction with others. The contention may come from “overseers” of the church, or perhaps it comes from people who attend the church and happen to be “big-givers” in a monetary sense. I think money influencing the church is exactly why Jesus drove everybody out of the temple in Matthew 21:13, the money had become more important than doing the work of God, and the spiritual “teachers” of the day became indignant. I feel pity for Bible teachers, pastors, church leaders who seek what God truly wants them to do, yet just can’t say the words for fear from those they’ve given power to (and perhaps are subjected to) here on Earth.
If you’re a Christian who is transgender and a prisoner of your church, I can’t tell you what to do. Change in the church will only come from within, but that’s a tough struggle that not everyone can endure. You may need to find safe haven, and there is a church in almost every community that if you look, will offer that to you as well.
Meanwhile, you Christians who refuse to speak up. You who continue to say nothing while others literally are spiritually suffering, you who leave it to me to say something are just as guilty of cruelty to another Christian as that SOB Satan himself. Don’t you know he’s whispering into the ear of Christians who are transgender saying “see, even God’s own people won’t accept you”. “See, they speak for God, and He doesn’t love you either”.
I can’t tell you how many Christians who happen to be transgender I’ve communicated with that love their church, but are afraid of it at the same time. THAT’S JUST WRONG!
If you’re transgender, only you know how much battering you can take. If you’re at an affirming church, God bless you. If you’re not, you can try to help change how they feel, but don’t do it to the point that it damages your own relationship with the Lord, that’s NOT your calling. Find a church home you can serve and grow in your faith in God.
When people are struggling with their faith, the church should be a place of HELPING and HEALING for people in that struggle, not condemning them. There is no defense for that.
Church, let God be God. Have FAITH that if someone claims Jesus as their Lord and Savior, that the same Lord you say you trust will work with them with whatever problem YOU think they have, and leave it there, with Him as you should. The Lord doesn’t need to hear it from you again, He heard it the first time—I promise.
And if you’re the RARE Christian, tell the person that happens to be transgender that you’re sorry for all the church has brought upon them, and ask how you can help them in their journey with Christ. It will take people like you to help change the Church. The Church was wrong on slavery, the Church was wrong on women in ministry, the Church is likewise wrong on people who are transgender. You can choose to be on the right side of this or the wrong side. History will judge (as will God), but I suspect you feel the answer in your heart right now. The choice is yours. Are you one who keeps a prisoner, or are you one who frees one?
-Blessings
Please click here to “LIKE” my Facebook page, help me reach the Church and Christians who are transgender.
Sign up now and get my new posts sent to your inbox.
No spam and your email address will not be sold or given to anyone – ever! 
For All
In my Bible study today with my spiritual mom we were reading Psalm 39. This Psalm of David was written after David had sent Uriah (the husband of Bathsheba) to the front of the battle lines where he would likely be killed, which he was. So David got what he wanted, which was Bathsheba.
In Psalm 39 verses 1 and 2 David wrote “I said, “I will watch my ways and keep my tongue from sin; I will put a muzzle on my mouth while in the presence of the wicked.”
I hadn’t put 2 and 2 together when I first read it. Why would David keep his mouth shut when confronted by wicked people? After all, David was a man chosen by God to lead Israel, I didn’t get why he wouldn’t tell evil people that they were evil, that they were against God. Read more “You’re Not Gonna Like “Therefore””
For All
I don’t worry personally about the Coronavirus. I follow the guidelines, keep my distance in the store when I go (as infrequently as possible), sanitize my hands and wear gloves for whatever I touch in a client’s home.
But what almost did kill me some 30 years ago was rejection from my family and Christians, people I loved and WANTED to be close to, and now I can’t, because being transgender is apparently worse than a being a mass murderer in the minds of some, WORSE than having Coronavirus (which I don’t). Apparently being transgender is unforgivable. Nonredeemable. Someone without the hope of a Savior.
Except I DO have that hope, and my trust IS in Him. The one who died on a cross for my sins, to make me blameless before the Father.
I see on an HOURLY basis Christians posting about the Coronavirus, on how God is in control, that we don’t need to live in fear, yet they continue to spread the message that apparently for some reason we DO have a reason to live in fear, except we shouldn’t!
If the folks giving those messages didn’t have fear, then you would think they would continue (albeit perhaps in an online manner) the normal messages and teachings of Christ. Am I really the only one who doesn’t know a single person living in FEAR? Because all I see are people talking about “others” who are in fear.
Oh, I know people who are being careful, taking precautions, but that’s very different from living in fear, yet we Christians seem to be acting as if we are in fact doing just that. Why else are we talking about it so much and using the word fear?
We’re treating this as if it getting the Coronavirus was an almost guaranteed death sentence, like Ebola—but it’s NOT like Ebola, not even close. If we follow the guidelines given us, we’ll be fine. Yes, there will be some people who will die. People have been dying since Adam and Eve, so let’s not pretend we can completely halt it as a human process. Let’s minimize it, yes. But to talk about fear as if everyone else has it and we have the answer for fear? From what I can see it’s we Christians who seem to be displaying and taking about fear the most—the rest of the world is simply taking precautions to minimize it. Some are even making it a sign of the second coming of Christ (which people have been doing for as long as I’ve been alive, and I’m 62 years old).
There will be people who sadly will die from this nasty virus, it just MIGHT approach the number of people who died from the ordinary flu this year (just to put it into perspective).
We do what we can to save EVERYBODY. That is what’s happening right now in cities all over the world—and I believer EVERY life is worth saving if we can, born or unborn.
But if you’re a Christian who is transgender, that’s a different issue. There are FEW churches praying for you, to keep you safe from society in general. There are FEW churches praying that you will find them to be a home where you can grow as a follower of Christ.
But the number of churches who wouldn’t pray for you as a Christian BECAUSE you’re transgender is far too many. Oh sure, there are those who won’t believe you’re a Christian and will therefore pray for your salvation, thinking that will magically “change” and “heal” you. But there are many evangelical churches that tolerate people who are transgender or otherwise LGBT, yet keep them mostly on the outskirts and when push comes to shove won’t really talk about it. Basically a “don’t ask, don’t tell” theology.
The virus is here but it will one day be gone, and just part of a flu shot we get each fall will be there to get us through it when it resurfaces.
The “loving” dismissal given to Christians who are transgender is at best, condescending and at worst, passive hatred camouflaged with spirituality. “You’re welcome here, just don’t rock the boat or make this an issue”.
Making a difference is going to take time, and doing that will require strength that maybe is too much to ask of you if you’re transgender. That’s totally okay. You have your own struggle and just being yourself may be all that you can handle. So do that. Find a church where you are FULLY loved and accepted. Where you are able to FULLY participate in the life of the church without exception.
But if you’re an evangelical Christian who struggles with your church, and you have the strength within you, keep pushing. THIS is how the church will change. It will take people like you to help the Church realize how badly they are mistaken in what they think the Lord considers important in the world in which we live.
And Church? Where are you? Where are you Christians who know other Christians who are transgender or otherwise LGBT and DON’T speak out about it to your church? Are you satisfied with allowing what they permit to continue? Are you satisfied with their “don’t ask, don’t tell” unofficial policy?
I realize this post is a bit of a rant (hey, sometimes I just have to get on my soapbox).
I want to encourage those of you dealing with a difficult church to continue if you can, but don’t allow yourself to be punished. If you think there’s no hope of them changing (at least while you’re there) then get out and move on. You need a healthy family around you to support you.
If you’re a Christian (who is not LGBT) I want to encourage you to ask your minister, pastor, priest what they are doing to help those who are LGBT feel fully a part of the ministry of the church. Christians who are transgender AND feel that God doesn’t love or accept them are often driven to killing themselves out of a feeling of having NO hope in this life or in heaven. Sadly, that’s on you, whether you’ve said or not—if your church believes that, you’re contributing to it.
Hey, we all have time to think about things these days, let’s include thinking about things that don’t push people AWAY from the Church and from God Himself, because we’ve done it!
-Blessings
Please click here to “LIKE” my Facebook page, help me reach the Church and Christians who are transgender.
Sign up now and get my new posts sent to your inbox.
No spam and your email address will not be sold or given to anyone – ever!
For All
Today in one of my Facebook groups a gal who is transgender said how glad she was to find a group that focused on being a Christian and transgender. How she has struggled with “Biblical teachings”.
And right there it struck me… is it really “Biblical teaching” that some Christians use to condemn those who are transgender? Or is it an individual’s (or group’s) interpretation, regardless of the stretch, of the contemporary’s language’s translation based on copies of the originals (which no longer exist) and without taking into context the time in which it was written?
“Biblical teaching” has been used to rationalize the use of poisonous snakes in church. “Biblical teaching” has been used to tell people not to write left-handed. “Biblical teaching” has been used to exclude people who are black from joining a church, and women from speaking from the platform.
What is “Biblical teaching”? Read more “Is it Really “Biblical Teaching”? Always? Every Word?”
For All
That’s what I heard someone say this evening.
I heard a story about a family. They are a Christian family and raised three now grown children. All of them grew up in the church and knew the Lord. Read more “So Sad HE Hasn’t Changed His Heart”
For All
A few weeks ago a man in my church preached about “absolute truth”. He’s not a pastor at my church, he’s a psychologist who serves at times and is consulted when needed. He started out by talking about what a wacky world we live in. I (along with everyone else) agreed yes, we’ live in wacky times. Read more “Absolute Truth”
For All
One year ago on October 9th my book was published. So I want to celebrate by giving it away to as many of you as possible. If you would like a free eBook or audiobook, this is for you! It’s my story of being a Christian and transgender, facing rejections and being ready to die—yet the Lord had other plans.
Tuesday October 8th through Saturday night the 12th, the Kindle version is free at Amazon. That’s right, the price is $0.00. Just go “buy” it and it’s yours. You can read it on just about any device with the free Kindle app. Read more “My Book is ONE YEAR OLD!”
For All
Listening to the pastor in the video below doesn’t particularly disturb me. There are people who literally HATE other people who are different than them that well, they go off the deep end. I’ve had amazingly hateful and ignorant things written to me by pastors who have never met nor talked to me.
What really bothers me is that 1) these people get traction within the LGBT community, causing an equally hateful response—hence all the vitriol we see in the media and 2) NO ONE in the evangelical community, not even my own church saying the opposite. Read more “How Do We Know This Isn’t YOUR Church?”