A Simple Conversation – It’s Not Hard
Today I had a wonderful conversation. It was with the father of a gay daughter. If you’ve been following my posts, back in May I wrote about leaving my church, and though none of the pastors of my church ever contacted me, this gentleman (an elder at the church), at the request of the senior pastor did reach out—even though at that time he knew virtually nothing about me.
His email to me was coated with the assumption that I was gay, which I’m not and those were the ONLY three words I used in my reply to him “I’m not gay” (a bit miffed that he was trying to defend the church, albeit in a kind way, about their stance on homosexuality).
That led to a few emails going back and forth, all kind and non-confrontational and ended with him getting my book to read (I mean, my life is LITERALY an open book!)
A few months go by and I don’t hear back and I assume I’m just cast off. Lo and behold he reaches out. In the time that has gone by he’s closed his business and retired which was hastened by Covid-19 and he’s finally had time to finish my book.
We met via Zoom to remain Covid friendly for ninety minutes, and what a great ninety minutes it was.
He and his wife have a ministry at my old church helping parents with LGBT kids, helping them not letting them go, helping them deal with the shock and perhaps disappointment that their child may not have the kind of life that they once envisioned, and loving their child regardless.
Communication, conversation and education is how we are going to see change in the Church.
Communication, conversation and education is how we are going to see change in the Church.
Being as the “T” is just a tag-along to the LGB, I had the opportunity to give him through my book and through our conversation a glimpse into what it is to be a Christ follower, and transgender. He was astounded that I was moderating a group of almost 800 Christ followers who were transgender (maybe he thought I was the only one).
I was able to share an email with him from a parent that felt justified in cutting off their child completely because they were transgender, referring to them totally in the past tense. It hurt him so much to hear a parent willing to abandon their child he asked me to forward it to him so he could help other parents know how NOT to respond to their children.
Communication, conversation and education is how we are going to see change in the Church. I know we all would like to see it NOW, this year! But we have to remember that change takes time, evolution takes time. My new friend and I both agreed we may not see it in our lifetime, but we’re hopeful. The good news is that we are in an awesome time of seed-planting.
It’s so important that we not go off and get militant against those with whom we wish to be allies. If you want peace, don’t start a war. There are generations coming after us who will hopefully look back and see how we have paved the way for them to be FULLY accepted within the Church, equal in every way. I know it’s hard that perhaps we can’t have that now in some churches, churches we long to be a part of, but we can pave the road ahead for others—in a kind and loving way, just as Jesus did.
We might get to see the seeds we’ve planted get watered and grow, we may not, but it’s progress and it’s changing hearts, even if only one heart at a time.
-Blessings
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Laurie, I understand and accept your anger.I support your statement that communication and conversation can facilitate change. More often than not, anger shuts down both conversation and change. That said, there is a place for anger. In addition, there is a place for persistence and peseverance. My personal calling is the following: To become knowledgeable, competent, and understanding in all aspects of LGTBQ life and community. To bring about uncondtional acceptance and integration of the LGBTQ community into the church of Jesus Christ-at -large within my circle of influence and beyond. Insure that every LGTBQ person that crosses the path… Read more »